ok so i was going to write about the weird feeling that i was getting from the strange occurances that have taken place today...like my dog eating my valentines day gift that i received from my ex-ex-boyfriend several years ago that held a special place in my heart....or the fact that i have somehow lost my credit card somewhere somehowwwww.....or that i have met up with someone that i used to talk to a very long time ago .....curiously....it seemed about an hour ago that my life was full of things that just should not have happen..all of these things seem weirdly planned....like it is some sick funny joke....how all of this stupid stuff decided to happen i would love to know...but oddly all of that seemed insignificant when i checked my voice messages.....because i have been so sad lately....thinking only of himmmm....missing him....wanting him...still loving him...crying silently over himmmm.....he called me because he just wanted to hear my voice.....i have done that to him also....just to call him to receive his  voice mail because i just want to hear his voice......wishing that one day he would just drive down my street and rescue me....to just call me and tell me that he loved me and that he missed me and that he is just as lost with out me as i am lost with out him....i think about him all day...well whenever i get a chance to have my own private thoughts...thoughts without work interfering, or when i am not trying to keep myself busy......those kinda thoughts....free thoughts...the kinda thoughts where you dont have to worry about other people judging you because of what you are thinking of or who you are thinking of....i miss him and as for right now i am not sure if him calling me makes it any better or any worst...should i call him and let him know that i still think of him....should i call him privately or not at alllll.....maybe i should flip a coin.....heads call tails dont....tails........i got tails....so that answers my question...well how about best 2 out of 3....sike i can take a hint....welll i will just keep dreaming of him and if i cant tell him it to his face...in a letter....or maybe on the phone...then i will just tell him it in my journal...I STILL LOVE YOU JONATHAN ROSS.....even though i know i shouldnt....................

p.s. i will try to keep playing with the journal to get my picture to appear on it......but i did place a link on here so that if you wanted to go to my yahoo photos you could see some of my pictures on there...... http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/beautifulmiss0303/album?.dir=4c60